The power of music; a journey through recovery
Charlie (CYP Peer Support Worker)
What helped me through my recovery journey? The power of music. Music has played a massive part in my life; if I’m not listening to music I’m thinking about music, and if I’m not thinking about music I’m singing.
I remember singing with my dad when I was little (our song is ‘Changes’ by Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne). My dad is a massive music lover too, you can often find us together rocking out to something, with one of my favourite memories being with my dad at a Shinedown concert last year.
Studies show that music can have a positive impact on your mental wellbeing through stimulating the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. It can help improve mood, energize your body and much more. As well as help promote positive mental health, I’ve always said music can also be like a second language; sometimes it can be hard to find words for how you are feeling, but I believe sometimes we can listen to a song, and we can relate to the lyrics and are then able to show people ‘this is it! This is how I’m feeling.’
This is echoed through one of my favourite quotes by musician Frank Ocean “When you’re happy you enjoy the music, when your sad you understand the lyrics.”
As well as helping provide the words to explain how I was feeling, music has really helped me manage my anxiety. I used to find it really difficult to ground myself; my mind was racing at 1000mph, unable to focus on the 5 senses. In these instances, I would put my music on as loud as I could, and I would just sit and listen; it was as if I was drowning the world around me out. My go-to anxiety song is “To Build a Home” by The Cinematic Orchestra; it helped me focus and I could get lost in the melody and lyrics of the song.
My favourite lyrics from the song are ‘this is a place I don’t feel alone, this is a place I felt at home’.
As a teenager, when it came to finding who I was as a person, I really struggled to make connections with people in real life; I had very few friends at school and the ones I did have didn’t like the music I listened to. I was labelled the ‘emo girl’, so for the most of my secondary school journey I would pretend to be into other music, and this really impacted the way I felt about myself. I remember feeling lost and isolated, and in many ways, it was only when away from school I could be free to express who I felt as a person. It wasn’t until I left and was living on my own, attending college with like-minded people that I really discovered myself. This is when I bought my first album called “Misadventure” by the band “Pierce the Veil.” I played it until the CD gave up and I still have the CD today - it holds such a special place in my heart as it reminds me never to lose sight of who I truly am, and not to be bothered by other people’s opinions (easier said than done I know). I used to play it at full volume most of the day, and I remember for the first time truly being happy with who I was, happily rocking around my flat and not have a care in the world - I was happy.
I think my favourite lyrics from this album would have to be “Fine maybe I will pretend right now, but I swear to god I’m gunna change the world and I promise you someday we’ll tell ourselves oh my god this is paradise.”
As I’ve gotten older my music taste has expanded on from the ‘emo’ days and has become a way for me to ‘check in’ with my mental health and use music to help me understand or lift my mood. I have 3 playlists that help me with this.
“Everyday/easy listening music” – This is the music I know and love; music that is easy listening and I know won’t impact on my mood (Panic at the Disco, Fallout Boy, Radiohead, Hairspray the musical).
“Sunlight”- This is my calming playlist; full of rock love songs and spoken poetry and calmer music (Bon Jovi, Ozzy Osbourne). I tend to listen to this when I need a break from reality and/or to sit with feelings and order my thoughts.
“Sad-girl hour”- This is the playlist I listen to when feeling down and struggling. This playlist is filled with sad music I can cry to or relate to or even to validate my feelings (e.g., Nicolina, Jelly Roll, Papa Roach). Music like this can also help me to feel less alone with what I am feeling and help express and process these.
As you can tell, music really is important and will continue to be a massive part of my recovery. Though I now feel I can manage my own mental health better, I will continue to turn to music in times of struggle. I know if I have my music, and I can use this to communicate with people around me, everything will be okay.
Remember - one step and song at a time.
