Myth: Pregnancy is a happy time, and it is not normal to be depressed.
Fact: Some women might ‘breeze through’ pregnancy, but others may find it more difficult. Changes in the body, sickness, concerns about baby’s health, or other sources of stress due to previous baby losses or traumatic births, can trigger some upsetting thoughts and feelings related to these experiences. Additional stresses, such as housing difficulties, financial problems, a lack of a support network, and so on can also impact on a person’s mental health. Mental health difficulties during the perinatal period are common; around 25% of women struggle with their emotions or mental health in pregnancy or postnatally. Mental health is just as important as physical health; both should be equally considered and supported.
Myth: ‘Baby blues’ and postnatal depression are the same.
Fact: Many women experience ‘baby blues’ during the first week after childbirth. This may be experienced as mild feelings of low mood, and usually goes away after a few days. Postnatal depression is thought to affect 1 in 10 women, can start at any point in the first year after giving birth, and may be experienced as mild to severe depression. On the other hand, some new mums may feel over-energised and euphoric; this is called ‘baby pinks’, and can be a warning sign for postpartum psychosis. It is important that individuals who are experiencing any perinatal mental health difficulties receive the right support.
Myth: There are predictable and orderly stages to grief.
Fact: People talk about the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), however in reality there are no set stages that everyone goes through, and we all experience grief differently. For most people grief will become less intense over time. But for some people, grief lasts many months or years. This is known as prolonged or complicated grief, which is more likely if the loss was traumatic or sudden and unexpected, as often is the case with baby loss. People who experience complicated grief may require extra support.
Myth: All that matters is a healthy baby.
Fact: Your experience matters, and even if your baby is healthy, it is valid to have many and mixed feelings about your experience of pregnancy and birth. Care and carers should seek to give women and birthing people a birth experience that considers their emotional well-being and wanting more from birth is not self-indulgent or unrealistic. If you have a difficult, distressing, or negative birth experience, your feelings matter, and you should be supported to talk about how you feel and in seeking professional support if needed.